Viewing entries tagged
faith
It's hard to believe I met this beautiful girl through blogging almost 5 years ago, I feel so blessed to have her in my life and call her my friend. God sure does have a way of bringing people together. My sweet friend Stephanie Schoonover is here sharing her story of faith, during one of the most difficult times in her and her husbands lives. These two are truly an inspiration!
This is our story of a love that runs deeper than the
pain…finding happiness in the midst of unknowns. Trusting in the plans God has
for our family, giving thanks in all circumstances…
On the night of Thursday, September 18th
I
couldn’t silence the thought that I might be pregnant. I wasn’t
necessarily
feeling any different but in my heart I knew and fortunately a little
test
confirmed my intuition. Overwhelming joy was immediately met with
prayer. My
husband Andy and I prayed thanks to God for this life He had given us -
but we
also felt called to pray that our baby was healthy and growing. So we
did just that. It became a regular prayer of ours until the afternoon of
Wednesday, November 12th when we prayed the hardest
we had ever during the ultrasound that revealed our worst nightmare and before
our doctor could break the silence, we knew.
How could we have
known?
I was 12 weeks pregnant when during a routine appointment our
daughter, Grace, was moving her arms and legs and sweet little lips for us to
see how much she had grown. Everything looked great. Until it didn’t. We never
imagined we’d receive news that our daughter has a neural tube defect that would
result in a fatal outcome. In a single moment my whole world came crashing in
and an emptiness carved itself into every hollow of my body. We both looked at
each other without saying a word, hot tears streaming down our faces, and vowed in our hearts that
we’d remain faithful to our daughter’s tiny perfect soul growing inside me. The
thing is, when you’re faced with circumstances like ours you’re given a choice.
The depths of carrying to term has humbled me beyond words.
Instead of wishing
away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized
that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God
in a miracle. – Erma Bombeck
The following month was mainly spent researching neural tube
defects and connecting with other women who had walked this exact road before
me. I started to find strength in vulnerability and seeking beauty in being
broken. At times I felt so lonely - constantly teetering between grief and joy
- but I knew I wasn’t alone. God was revealing truths to me. He still is
actually.
You see, it is not God who puts us through burdens, loss, devastation
or anything hard we have experienced in our lives – the world in which we live
is a broken place and at times it means we are bearing heavyweights as a
result. Andy and I weren’t chosen to be Grace’s parents because of her
diagnosis. Grace was known and He knew we were about to face the most difficult
season in our lives but He didn’t choose us. God wants to meet us where we are,
and looking back I can see how our faith was being rooted and our hearts were
being prepared. Through all the tears and confusion early on I was asking the
hard questions. But I think God is okay with our questions. We can either
become consumed by those moments and try to figure it out all on our own or we
can lean into faith and grow through it.
We never thought we’d make it this far – statistically we
were given a 20% chance of seeing the third trimester – but here we are
at 32 weeks and Grace’s strength continues to amaze us all. Each day Grace is
with us is truly a gift and we’re just so thankful we’ve been given another day
to experience her. I find myself with my hands embracing my belly, holding her
more and more these days. Her kicks remind me just how full life is and this
journey, it’s so bittersweet. We’re cherishing every minute of these last eight
weeks together.
Carrying Grace has given me the kind of perspective that
can’t be understood unless you’ve been through it. I’m soaking in everything
emotion of this pregnancy and know that while I carry her, He carries me. When
you’re struck with the unimaginable you learn you will never be the same. You
will be changed. You will never love the same. You will love better.
Before I formed you in
the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a
prophet to the nations. – Jeremiah 1:5
Grace Elisabeth, we love you to the depths of our being and consider
you our greatest blessing.
You can follow Stephanie's journey on IG @stephanieschoonover
You can follow Stephanie's journey on IG @stephanieschoonover